Friday, August 31, 2007

Matthew

Just a couple thoughts:

I was listening to the Gospel of Matthew today. That's right listening. A couple of years ago at Christmas I was given the Bible on CD by my uncle. It's awesome, it's like 200 CD's, it's crazy. And I've listened to it sporadically since then but this semester I am in a NT class and so I have resurrected the CD's and have been listening to them in order to keep up with the class. There is great power in listening to the Word of God. It really comes alive. We have done ourselves a great disservice by relegating the Bible to just being read in private devotional times alone and/or not having times in our church services or Bible studies where we simply read aloud the Word of God together and let it speak for itself. There is great power in the Word. We must remember that this is what would have occurred in NT times. When Paul wrote a letter to Corinth, chances are he only wrote one copy and thus the people would have to gather round and hear the Word read to them. May we remember to sometimes do the same. We must talk less and let the Word speak more. Try it if you haven't. Go grab the CD's or download tracks from Itunes (yes they have it) or better yet record yourself reading text...It's powerful.

Secondly, as I listened to Matthew I realized anew what a bad, bad, bad man I am. And I don't mean bad like the guys who own "Bad Ass Boys Drive Bad Ass Toys" bumper stickers. I mean it more like Babu, the Pakistani friend of Jerry's on Seinfeld who reminds him, "Jerry you are a verrry, verrry bad man..."

The sermon on the mount is sobering. Sure, there might be degrees of sin. Is speaking evil of your brother quite AS BAD as actually killing him...no...or at least that's the debate. But let us not pawn this off. Jesus is clearly telling us, "You're much, much worse than you even think." We are sinful to the very core of our being. We are so desperate for grace. The sermon on the mount must convict us. Let us not view it as a license to be "big picture" and lax with our conviction. Let us stop calling our Christian friends who possess much, much more conviction than we do pharisaical. Let us view the sermon on the mount for what it is...a reminder of how hopelessly sinful we really are...and how gracious Christ really is.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Twilight

There is a house up on the hill
The yard is fenced and green
There are regal, shade giving trees and even a little windmill
The shutters are pulled back letting light in pristine

Walking up to this house up on the hill
With each step the gravel crunches under feet
With the sound ringing of birds chirping shrill
Wooing me with the escaping smell of something sweet

I am a guest in this house up on the hill
I am expected but walk slowly to the door
I crunch the gravel, bask in the shade, twirl the windmill
Inquiring to no one but myself why I feel I've been here before

Looking to the door I knock firmly but not too hard
Learning quickly audacity is rarely present here
Loved by that smile, welcome mat under feet, I enter and leave the yard
Longing to make the dream of this house a reality so clear

Inside this house up on the hill
I exchange pleasantries and make small talk
Indifferent to the scattered toys and table piled with bills
Inviting others in, growing the din of conversation, I excuse myself for a walk

Green too is the backyard of this house up on the hill
Graced serenely by twilight sky and aqua blue pool
Going down the patio steps taking it in, the night promises to chill
Giving my pockets hands to hold I walk to the fence as the sky fills with jewels

How do I feel welcome in this house up on the hill?
Hell, its more then welcome, its down right familiar
Hoping to find the journey’s end here in Pleasantville
Holding my life’s breath without the oxygen of her

Turning back to the door the twilight has matured to night
Taking my hands out of my pockets I retrace my steps
Trading night sky for lamp shaded light
This feeling is familiar but not mine quite yet

Yahweh

Is Bono a born-again Christian or is he not?
That is the question that many U2 fans, especially Christian ones, continually debate.
My opinion is that there ain't no question Bono knows the Gospel and knows Grace - his lyrics and life tell of this - the question though in my mind always has been whether he believes in the exclusivity of Christ - does he believe Jesus is the only way?
That's where it all hinges.
I hope that he does.

I hope that the greatest front-man of all time will be singing in the choirs of heaven.
But I am not the judge.
But for a moment, regardless of all that and regardless of our position on Bono there is something amazing about the u2 anthem "Yahweh."
I was watching one of their concert dvd's the other night and there is something to be said about a band and a stadium, containing a sea of people, singing under the lights the holy covenant name of God.
Admitedly a lot of them probably don't give it a second thought...but some do.
And when the lights fade in and out and you hear the stadium echo "Yahweh...Yahwehhhh..." it's pretty darn incredible...


Take these shoes
Click clacking down some dead end street
Take these shoes
And make them fit
Take this shirt
Polyester white trash made in nowhere
Take this shirt
And make it clean, clean
Take this soul
Stranded in some skin and bones
Take this soul
And make it sing

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, Yahweh
Still I’m waiting for the dawn

Take these hands
Teach them what to carry
Take these hands
Don’t make a fist
Take this mouth
So quick to criticise
Take this mouth
Give it a kiss

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahewh, Yahweh
Still I’m waiting for the dawn
Still waiting for the dawn, the sun is coming up
The sun is coming up on the ocean
This love is like a drop in the ocean
This love is like a drop in the ocean

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, tell me now
Why the dark before the dawn?

Take this city
A city should be shining on a hill
Take this city
If it be your will
What no man can own, no man can take
Take this heart
Take this heart
Take this heart
And make it break
"Yahweh" -U2

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Angelsea

come here
you're so far away
and i can't take it
not tonight
not tomorrow
not anymore
for even though my life is young
its passing
with an ever coming consistency
thats terrifying
and i don't want to spend another day of it
without you
but rather I want to share it
every mountain
and ever valley
every high
and every low
every tear
and every laugh
with you

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

gallow

"...stuck on the end of this ball and chain
and i'm on my way back down again
stood on a bridge, tied to the noose

sick to the stomach
you can say what you mean
but it won't change a thing
i'm sick of the secrets

stood on the edge, tied to a noose

You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose..."

-"Amsterdam" by Coldplay

Christ has cut me free from the noose of sin and death. Although daily I find myself trying to slip by neck back into it...I don't want to...but my behavior and constant disobedience and constant entanglement in ridiculous sin that should be conquered by now seems to prove otherwise.

Cut me loose I pray and burn the rope. For all too often do I return to that tempting yet deadly twine.

Thursday, August 09, 2007


Changing Lanes

I've really rediscovered the joy of the Blockbuster rental lately. Don't get me wrong I thoroughly enjoy a good theatre outing - big screen, big popcorn - but the rental is great too. No lines, lower prices, no one kicking the back of your seat, not having your feet get stuck to the floor because there is a 10 year old layer of carbonation and candy on the ground - it's great. Furthermore if there is nothing worth paying the hefty ticket price at the theatre currently, you can always find something tucked away in the Blockbuster aisles.

Last night I picked up Changing Lanes featuring Ben Affleck and Samuel L. Jackson. Ever since Pearl Harbor I have never been able to look at Ben Affleck the same way but because of my unhealthy obsession with Good Will Hunting and the absurd amount of times that I have seen it I will forever give Affleck the benefit of the doubt and still watch his current movies. Samuel L. Jackson has played an incredibly diverse and sometimes random amount of roles in his career but usually can always be counted on to deliver a solid performance.
Changing Lanes revolves around these two men - Gavin (Affleck) is partner in a high profile law firm that deals with municipal finance while Doyle (Jackson) is an insurance salesman battling his past, alcoholism and battling for his marriage or at least joint custody of his children. On one fateful day the two men are speeding along on the freeway - Gavin on his way to a hearing where his law firm is being sued for the mishandling of a large charity's funds (of which they are guilty - they stole 3 million dollars from the charity) and Doyle is on his way to a custody hearing, the last and most important one of his life as a father, the one where he finally had the chance to prove he had gotten his act together (which he had) - as they speed along Gavin (Affleck)changes lanes and crashes into Doyle's (Jackson) car.

As this accident couldn't have come at a worse time for either man - Gavin's carreer and Doyle's family are at stake here on this day - Gavin tries to offer Doyle a blank check for him to fix any damage as he just needs to get the heck out of there whereas Doyle wants to swap insurance and do it the right way as he needs to not do anything to jeopardize his newly cleaned up image. Gavin doesn't have time for this, throws him the blank check and begins to speed off. As it begins to rain, Doyle asks him for a ride into town (Gavin's car is driveable still where Doyle's is totaled) to which Gavin responds, "Sorry, better luck next time."

The plot thickens when it turns out that Gavin had dropped the file on which his whole case pivots at the scene of the accident and Doyle managed to pick it up. After Doyle loses his custody hearing after being a half-hour late because of the accident - a hearing which he would have probably won for he really had become a changed man - he throws everything in his hands away in disgust, including the file Gavin needs. After another run-in with Gavin whereby Doyle learns of the importance of the file, Doyle salvages it from the garbage can and a battle of wills ensues. How far will Gavin go to get back this file - his inconsideration earlier already screwed Doyle over, will he now go even further to get what he needs? After learning how precious this file is to Gavin, how long can Doyle fight the seductive calling of revenge before he takes matters into his own hands and tries to make Gavin experience the same pain he feels?

I enjoyed this movie and chose to blog on it for 2 reasons:

First, it does a good job of showing the wavering moral compass man possesses - even sometimes for us as Christians. The Golden Rule, the Sermon on the Mount, the Fruit of the Spirit, etc. are all good and well on paper or in our lives when we are not tried. The question is does our moral compass or will our commitment to a certain ethic change under great duress? How rigid is the "Due North" line, so to speak, on the compass of our morality or Christian ethic? I know for me in my own life my commitment to the Lord, my appreciation of his grace, my desire for holiness is sky high when things are constantly falling into place, but as soon as one bad day comes along I all too often listen to that seductive call to abandon waiting on the Lord or seeking his face to instead take matters into my own hands or just simply grow bitter and jaded. Or what about our standards for life? The Christian life is great on paper but how committed are we to really live it out once we are on our own - living without the watchful eye of parents, teachers, roommates, etc.? It is said that character is what you do when no one is watching...so what are we doing?

Secondly, I enjoyed this movie because of the perspective it brings. There is a reason why "Crap Happens" attained bumper-sticker-status...because it does. All the time. We live in a broken world, full of broken people doing broken things and being victims of broken things. A lot of people have more bad days then good. The writer of this blog and most of you who read this don't fall into that category - we are blessed beyond belief - but so many people are not. So many people experience things and have days and go through stuff that we can't imagine. So many people when we bump into them on the street act in a way that makes us think they are a huge jerk and sometimes they simply may be that, but sometimes they may have been through things earlier in the day that we can't imagine and we must be sensitive to that. Especially in ministry - we must be able to look at people and see past the skin to the heart issues. People have wounds and scars and pasts that may cause them to act in certain ways and we must be sensitive and keen to that.
So pick it up if you haven't seen the movie - it was entertaining and also thought provoking and while I may have given away a lot there is more to see.
And while another bumper sticker tells us that "mean people suck" let's remember "unloving, insensitve and morally indecent Christians suck more."

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Searching Sheets and Circumstances

Eyes wide open pupils dilating to the dark they are adjusting
Light departs to its slumber giving way to this black hole of night and thought
Imagination wide open heart palpitates to the solitude its not adjusting
One of those nights where sleep fled with the light, left alone with a battle to be fought

A flickering chandelier casts shadows over soul and body
Shadows of over-analyzed pasts, discontent presents and paranoid futures
Searching sheets and circumstances for anything to hold me
Air condition rythym and rotating fans are the only things here of which I am sure

Accepting sleep’s betrayal it is now to daylight I turn my hope
Looking for the dawn’s fingers to pry through my curtains
For under blazing sunlight there is at least one less shadow with which to cope

Sleep starved eyes strain, adjusting to the sun
Feeling the warmth but being pained by the vision it brings
So my heart strains to have your vision, to let you be the only one

To understand that contentment will never come with the touch of someone

Take away this longing
Take away this longing
Take away this longing

“…Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that thou my art
Thou my best thought, by day or by night
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light…”

Thursday, August 02, 2007

1 Corinthians 5

I am the immoral brother
Expel me from this place
I keep chasing after another
Scoffing at your grace

I read and yet must not believe
Words never reaching my heart but stopping at my face
"Twas grace that taught my heart to fear twas grace my fears relieved..."
Maybe the alarm failed, I missed the precious Hour, now disqualified from the race

I am the immoral brother
Expel me from this place
I keep chasing after another
Scoffing at your grace

What would Paul say to a man of my hypocrisy?
A man given double portion
And yet failing basic spiritual decency
Proclaiming the Bread of Life
Claiming to refute cultural fables
And yet would this man himself even be invited to the table?

I am the immoral brother
Deserving explusion from this place
Deserving disqualifaction from the race
For my continual scoffing at your grace
And my pathetic attempts to save face
Starting to wonder if my clay was designed for the noble and not for the base
For if you desire obedience and not sacrifice
How do I take confidence in a life filled with vice?

What a wretched man that I am!
Deliver me from this body of death!
All my life…take over!
Starting with this breath…

I am the immoral brother
But expel me not from this place
Stop my feet from chasing
And bind me to your grace